Why you can't quit

Just when you think you have had enough, you magically find the strength to continue. I don't know why you reach your limit. What does a husband or child say that triggers your inner dipstick and posesses you to become the demonic represention of the mother devil. You suddenly do not tolerate even the smallest whine or simplest request. You certainly have zero tolerance for the irrational rants from your perfect little angels - even the tall male one. Especially the tall male one.

But here I am watching my little girl, who turns nine this spring, in her dance class. I don't have to wonder what goes on in her head. She is just like me. I was just like she is, when I was her age. She needs everything and everyone to follow the direct lines of right and wrong. I am with her on this... It makes things work so well.

One day it clicks and you get it. This is not a very realistic approach and life does not work that way. But still, you try every way to retain your little girl's innocence and keep her protective bubble from bursting. I cannot always be the one who tells her how things really work. The more I do that the more I look like the enemy. I can't be the enemy. So sometimes I lose it.

When my children no longer respond to rationality and even toned explanations, I lose the ability to continue. Sometimes I declare - I quit.

I QUIT!

It is usually only a conversation with my husband... but I think that maybe my little boy heard me last night. Yikes. Can I fix that? Well, he did not bring it up at all this morning, so there is hope.

Back to my girl. She did good. She tried to stay in her dance class and she managed just fine. She wants the world to be honest. Her world at least. She should get what she wants, everyone should. It just doesn't always work that way.

You can't quit. Everyone depends on you. That's the way it works. I know. I will not quit. I will continue. I will help her to find the way to resolve her quams and see how things work. It won't be a question of right or wrong. It will be a time to understand.